So the year is coming to a close and despite my usual overly talkative nature, I’m finding myself with not much to say. This has been a year of ups and downs for me, headed off by that ultimate bittersweet event: graduation.
Once I take my last final and hand in my last paper I’m done at BSU…forever. And as much as it’s a relief, its also incredibly scary. We spend our whole lives learning, and although my knowledge won’t stop increasing just because I’m done with school, it’s scary to realize that school is all I’ve ever done. I mean, sure I’ve had part time jobs to help me afford college and my new apartment, but now comes the time where I choose what I’ll do for real–what I may be doing for the rest of my life.
I don’t know about the rest of you guys who’re close to graduating, but for me–a 21 year old writer who went to school in a small town called Bridgewater and grew up in an even smaller town in NY–this world is starting to look pretty darn big. With the economy looking less promising every day, and a degree in a subject (English) that I’ve been assured is infinitely useful while at the same time wildly impractical, I find myself really at a loss for what my little self will do. But, when talking to my sister the other day I came to a comforting realization and, even though it’s pretty cheesy, it’s basically the only thing I can think to leave you with as my parting words.
Even though I’ve been rethinking my major and stressing out about what I’m going to do with my life, I realized that I don’t have to be so concerned. My family and I have never had a lot of money, nor have we led a life anywhere near perfect. But, here I am at the culmination of a college education I wasn’t sure I could afford with a 3.9 GPA, soon to be in possession of a bachelor’s degree in a subject I enjoy, and with a few precious family and friends who are worth more to me than huge sums of money that I will probably never make.
So, if I can’t find a job right away and I’m working at Burger King, or I never make more than $20,000 a year, I know I’ll be okay with that. I know I have friends who will take me out dancing when they hear I’ve had a bad day. I have a boyfriend who doesn’t mind being silly to make me laugh. I have a sister who’s heart and artwork are more beautiful than any dollar bill could ever be. I have a mother who’s taught me that strength doesn’t come from being the best, it comes from making the best out of what you’re given. And I have a family, including my one-of-a-kind grandma , who may not always know how best to show it, but they do genuinely love each other.
So although I know it’s the type of thing people always say, and it does get a little cliche, that’s the stuff that makes life worthwhile. If I loose money and possessions or I’m never successful in my career, that really is far from the worst thing that could happen to me. And once I figured that out, graduating just doesn’t seem so scary after all–because I’m just graduating from school–you don’t ever graduate from love.
(and yes, I really did just say all that cheesy stuff…deal with it! Graduating makes a person sentimental…)
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